How Out Am I?

At 50 and single, there's always this inescapable question. Usually coming from tackless nosey oldies at wedding dinners. While admiring the young grooms, they would turn to me and said 'When will you be next?' That's right. The big Q that has all the hooks to fish out more sordid details out of my protected sexuality. Imagine returning the big Q to these nosey oldies during funeral receptions. When will you be next? kekeke! The devil in me. Of course when it comes down to it, there are a list of excuses (oh how i hated myself) to satisfy their curiosity. Rambling inaudibly...
1. My girlfriend just dumped me
2. I hate kids
3. I am married to my job.
4. I am not into sticking to one yet.
5. I have been heartbroken too many times.
6. Don't want to be tied down.

That was then. Even in my 30s. But who am I kidding. These days I will just have to tell them why I didnt get married.

I AM FREAKING HAPPY WITH MY GAY LIFE!!!

Yeah. Loud, out and proud. But is it? Perhaps not so loud. As I am writing this, a few disapproving faces flash across my mind already. But do I care? Lets see how out am I.

My eldest sister (and I mean real sister) she kinda know. Didnt really have to discuss with her.
My second sister, she knows and even brought her to some gay clubs.
My colleaques. most know. Didnt really need to discuss with them.
My Lover. He knows. He better!
My best friends. 2 of them. They certainly know.
My Brother-In-law. I dont care too much.
My clients. If they ask. I tell.
My neighbour, out himself to me.
In public. No they can't tell. I am not flaunting either.

Hmmm.. guess I am as out as a fish out of water!

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